mister funnypants

ben karlin was senior editor of the onion from 1993-1996. now he's the executive producer of the daily show. touch him, love him, read this hilarious interview with him. (any implied connections between the kangaroo on this page and the fact that i am posting this from australia are purely coincidental, btw.)

best e-cards evar

for that special someone: one, two, and three.

for giant squid lovers everywhere

The BBC reports, "Police in Peru have seized about 700kg of cocaine hidden in frozen giant squid bound for Mexico and the US. The drugs - worth about $17.5m - were sealed in several layers of plastic and other wrapping material and covered in pepper to divert sniffer dogs."

funny, i often feel like a frozen giant squid mere hours after putting a substance that rhymes with "cocaine" up my nose.

halo 2 strategy-guide sells nearly as well as bill clinton's "my life"

from clive thompson's blog:

"Here's a neat cultural moment for you: The strategy guide for the video-game Halo 2 has become Random House's fastest-selling nonfiction book since Bill Clinton's My Life last summer. As Random House's press release reports, the Halo 2 guide sold over 270,000 copies on its first day, Nov. 9. In comparison, Clinton's book sold 400,000 copies on its initial day."

conclusion: if "my life" had dual-wielding and xbox live support, it probably would have been the best selling non-fiction book of the decade.

what would a day be...

...without video of real-life, transforming robots? (answer: worthless.)

a moment of silence

for Ol' Dirty Bastard, aka Russell Tyrone Jones, aka Osirus, aka Joe Bannanas [sic], aka Dirt Dog, aka Unique Ason, aka Big Baby Jesus, aka Dirt McGirt. we'll miss you.

reminder:

if you are on a pc and using the heaping pile of ogre feces known as "inernet explorer " to view my site and/or the internet, now would be a good time to painlessly switch over to the free and wonderful browser known as firefox. seriously folks, do it, your life will improve dramatically.

give us a hug

so like, you want to give your mom a hug, but she lives in Beirut and you live in Minneapolis. what to do? use a remote-controlled pillow, of course.

tara reid

would make a great junkie crackwhore, imho

dubya doing what he does best

(being an idiot)

yasser arafat is dead.

fact: over the course of his presidency, bill clinton met with mr. arafat more times than he did with any other foreign leader. george w. bush, on the other hand, refused to ever meet mr. arafat from the day he took office because he disagreed with his policies.

can someone tell me what the shit is wrong with our president, and what we're going to do about it? first one who says "move to canada" gets an anthrax sandwich.

funny drawer-rings

it's the exploding dog

culture jamming

with bush and blair at the gay bar

warning: the sony robots have arrived

this is one of the more amazing things i've ever seen. see the QRIO in action. $65K, only in japan.

three year-old korean girl

(not porn)

bush

eats pussy

this sorta rules

what happens when designers and politics hold hands: knife party

if you've never seen the snake hunter...

...you must now see the snake hunter.

the dark days continue

"And as I was looking at those towers that were destroyed in Lebanon, it occurred to me that we have to punish the transgressor with the same -- and that we had to destroy the towers in America so that they taste what we tasted, and they stop killing our women and children." -- Osama Bin Laden.
read the rest of his television broadcast here

you just got

pwned, bitch

lollercaust

if an award existed for the stupidest link of all time, this would win hands down.