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so i went to a homeopathic doctor today to figure out what's wrong with my mega-sensitive stomach, and she thinks i may have a parasite living inside of it. this was a bit disheartening, so i came home and did some research. here's what i came up with:
the bad news: tapeworms are seriously the most fucked-up things in the universe
the good news: someone made a videogame about them
verdict: this sucks

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a buyer's guide to recreational brain scanning. what's up the future.

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question: where can i find about five billion videogame desktops for my domepiece? answer: here (in cartman voice: "now who wants to touch me?")

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the star wars kid's triumphant return: peep his kill bill kung fu steez (this rules): star wars kid vs. kill bill

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so you love outkast and you love 2D pixel art, particularly that of the street fighter variety. this should do the trick: street fighter vs. outkast

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okay, remember what i said about the last website being really good? this one is about a million times better. i can't believe how sick this is: the future

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wow. easily one of the nicest websites i've seen. props to laboratory for making the world wide web its bizorch. hype

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i've been eating lots of eggs lately. also avocados, vegetables, rice, fruit, meat, and cheese...but seriously lots of eggs. it got me thinking: you know on nature shows when they show the hyenas or the muskrats or whatever stealing and eating the eggs of birds when the bird is away from her nest collecting food? and how you're totally hoping the bird gets back to its eggs before the hyena or the muskrat or whatever steals the eggs from her nest and eats them? it's kinda fucked up that we have an entire billion-dollar industry in which the predators win that battle 100% of the time. (we're doomed.)
on a happier note, i just farted and it smelled like rasberries, no joke.

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a bunch of models playing with various forms of deli meats. honestly i'm not sure if this is worth your time, but it's kinda weird so check it out if you're really bored: meat aerobics
btw, did anyone see the recent south park with michael jackson? the one with the cops who spend their entire lives trying to frame rich black people for crimes they didn't commit? holy funny.

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the funkstorung website just got a nice redesign. funk/sto/rung

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"Electronic Arts announced plans today to release a new game in the Sims series titled The Urbz for PS2, Xbox, Gamecube and the Game Boy Advance. The idea of the game is similar to The Sims, but with an inner-city bent -- instead of competing for the nicest lawn and happiest lifestyle, your little guys (called Urbz) are fighting for street reputation and style. It's the player's goal to build up your street cred and become the very literal king of tow---" SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP.

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thanks to slashdot for this little nugget of disturbingness: "An anonymous reader writes "Over at GameSpot, there's an interview with Dr. Michael Macedonia of the U.S. Army about the AWE training sim, a 'massively multiplayer simulation [based on the There 'virtual world' game engine] that will be used by military personnel to train troops in urban situations before they are airlifted to a battle zone.' Macedonia says 'We built downtown Baghdad in this environment', and also says 'we call our games tactical decision aids. Our thing is not making people shoot better; it’s making people think better.'"

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so i just got home. not like SF home but like NY (parents) home. so far i've been here for like three hours and i've watched three hours of TV and eaten 35,000 lbs. of food. some things i've learned:
1. curb your enthusiasm is pretty funny, but not quite as shit-through-my-jeans funny as i thought it'd be. i'll watch more though, maybe these weren't the best episodes.
2. chris rock is a funny motherfucker. i've decided that jews and blacks are the funniest people, straight up. i think being oppressed/enslaved/exterminated leads to comedy gold. canadians are funny too. (not sure about the canadians though.)
3. i need a cat.

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"abandonware" is commercial software that has been discontinued by the publisher and is not sold or supported anymore. this here site is a mecca for abandonware in the form of mac games, with such downloadable classics as doom 2, prince of persia, lemmings, leisure suit larry 6, and one of my favorite games of all time, indiana jones and the last crusade. hot shit, folks. free mac game smorgasbord

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this may be the sickest web-based game i've ever seen. basically, you have to travel around a city recording sounds on your minidisc player, and then come home and mix all of the sounds into a track, to be played later that night at a big club in london. okay, so it sounds kinda corny, so just peep it and behold its glory. stupid fresh

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dear folks: this is kind of off the heez. love, evan: osama big mac with 9-piece mcNuggets

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also see: donkey kong against zionism

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the internet has taught me that life in africa is nothing more than a series of violent wild animal attacks. (such as this one)

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yup, believe it. this really is a fully-functional replica of kaneda's motorcycle from akira. wtf do they put in the drinking water over there (besides msg)?

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this one's an all-time classic, despite the fact that it was made by several hundred indonesian children, working 19-hour shifts in a basement made of asbestos and used air force ones. real life transformer

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joy division + missy, "love will tear us apart". mashup shit can be wack but this one is, like, meant to be. you really should hear it, it's hot. hollaaaaaaa.

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you have absolutely no choice but to click on this link and laugh. "right wingers are funny (looking)"

tokyo elvises

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seriously, shut up and watch this: the brothers mario.

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when guitars meet videogames: jimi hendrix would be proud.

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from the AP: "The percentage of Americans who believe Jews were responsible for killing Jesus has grown in recent years, although it remains a view held by a minority of people, according to a poll released Friday.
The survey by the Pew Research Center for the People & the Press found 26 percent of respondents believe Jews were to blame for the Crucifixion, up from 19 percent in ABC News poll in 1997.
The greatest increase was among young people and blacks.
Thirty-four percent of those under age 30 now believe Jews were responsible, compared to 10 percent in 1997, the Pew Center said. And 42 percent of blacks hold that view, compared to 21 percent seven years ago." tight.

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sickest game concept i've heard about in ages. location-based gaming is where it's at, people: freshness

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interesting interview with alex rigopulos, founder of harmonix, on music-slanted videogames: play more music

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sony japan's newest game Koufuku Sousakan, which translates as "happiness and prosperity controller." a quote: "if a person is very happy, the player can 'suck' some of that person's happiness (or sadness) and give it to some unhappy sod by rapidly hitting the circle button." deep shit.